HOW TO BUILD THE PERFECT MOMMY GROUP

Your mommy group can become your best vinas, your comrades in arms, and that small sliver in sanity when your toddler is bouncing off the walls. Whether you are planning play dates or much needed wine nights, you need some wicked awesome moms by your side. In addition to those kid free vinas you’ve been pals with for years, every mom undoubtedly needs some ladies with kids around the same age in her life. It’s relaxing to hangout in another vina’s living room without fear of your kid breaking something priceless (it’s all been child proofed or broken by now- trust me) or being embarrassed by a tantrum. To quote Woody from that classic Toy Story, “Don’t have a mommy group? Get one!”

WHERE ARE ALL THE MOM’S AT?

We are everywhere, I promise you that. If you’re just starting on your quest to fill your Mommy Round Table, check out the local library. Story time is full of great stay at home moms who are looking for a little time away from the house with people who won’t judge their yoga pants. The closest park to your house is also a safe bet to find like minded vinas and their tots enjoying the sun. If your littles are in school chat up the pick up and drop off crowd- you all automatically have something in common to spark a convo. I really mean it, moms are everywhere, and unless the kiddos are melting down on the floor of the grocery store, we would love to talk for a minute.

CHECK EVERYONE’S SCHEDULES

Things totally change once you start making cute little human babies. Nap time, preschool days, and the availability of snacks become paramount to a successful day. Few things are more heartbreaking than meeting a great crew and then realizing that everyone has drastically different nap times/lunch times/witching hours (it is so a real thing, I swear it). A lot can be sacrificed for some much needed mommy breaks, but I for one won’t give my toddler’s nap. She needs her rest to avoiding acting like a banshee at dinner time, and I need to watch reruns of The Great British Baking Show. Now after dinner drinks are a different thing- there is always a way to make that work.

PLAN A PROJECT

Not sure how a new mom squad will mesh? Try planning a group project, like one of those nifty paint and wine outings. If chardonnay and a wonky painting of Hogwarts doesn’t help you bond I don’t know what will. If someone is feeling brave, try hosting it instead of going out. With mom’s flexibility is key, and a vina’s date night in just might fit the bill. A craft or a project will help give your night direction and smooth over any new friend jitters. Working on something together will also give you a chance to find more things in common than you expected. Maybe you all discover that Mod Podge decor isn’t your calling (but you can totally laugh about it), or you fall in love with the same six-pack of nitro stout. Or maybe you abandon the project half way and spend the night watching Outlander #sorrynotsorry.

SHORT ON TIME?

Try to set up a Facebook group together. I was part of a new mom’s group right after I had my daughter and we made ourselves a private Facebook group. We used our group to plan  outings, or at least invite any and all out for spontaneous coffee time. We shared recipes and photos of our kids. If someone got a duplicate of a book or a toy as a gift we could offer it to the others. Facebook is not a substitute for real time chat sessions, but it can absolutely make organizing them easier. Plus, having that safe space online is super helpful on those late mommy nights when you need a BFF. Or ten.

The first step is a smile though. Make eye contact with the other tired looking mom sitting with you in circle time. Offer a kind word the the kindred spirit who’s child has decided that the toilet paper aisle is a great place to pretend to be a snake. We are all in this together, so lets go hangout.

(Feature image via @livinglifesmoments)

originally published on VINAzine

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